My Immortal
by Samantha20
Summary: A diva reflects on her boyfriend and his betrayal, while others gather to hear her sing. All songs by Evanescence.
1. My Immortal

My Immortal - Evanescence.  
  
A/N: The song used in this fic is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. It's not mine, RAW and SMACKDOWN aren't mine. Please, don't sue me.  
  
Samantha.  
  
************  
  
"So anyway, I wanted to discuss where my career is going." Matt began, "I think I should be heading after a belt, ideally the World Heavyweight Championship, but I'm willing to accept the Intercontinental Title too."  
  
"Mmm," Eric mumbled, thinking. "Can you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?" Matt asked.  
  
"Listen." Eric commanded. "Can you hear it?"  
  
"Sounds like piano music." Matt answered. "Weird, especially for us. Most superstars listen to something a lot harder."  
  
Silently Eric began to walk towards the sound, Matt following him out of curiosity.  
  
***********  
  
As he and Matt found the room it was coming from, someone began to sing, the voice sad, almost mournful.  
  
In the dim light they could see the woman's fingers moving precisely over the keys of the piano, sitting completely still as she sang, accompanying herself.  
  
"I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave,  
  
Because your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone."  
  
Several others joined them, the four members of Evolution, Chris Jericho, Christian, the Dudley Boyz, even Kane stopped to listen though none of them knew why. The woman's voice seemed to hold them there, even when they wanted to leave.  
  
"These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase."  
  
As she continued to sing her voice grew lighter, almost as though she wasn't so sad, or pained, but her posture remained the same, sitting up straight, but not overly correct.  
  
She was aware of the people standing behind her, but continued to play anyway, not ignoring them, just delaying the moment when she would have to acknowledge their presence.  
  
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me."  
  
So sad. So pained. Each of the observers was moved in their own way by such a display of raw emotion, though none of them would ever admit it to the others.  
  
'How could someone be so pained and still force them self to exist?' The thought permeated more than one superstar's mind as she began to sing again.  
  
"You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating mind  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice that chased away all the sanity in me."  
  
Tears slid slowly down her cheeks.  
  
She knew that he was standing there, behind her, right in the front of the group, and he didn't recognize her. Not her voice, her body, her posture.  
  
How could he manage to cause her so much pain, and not even realize who she was, and how much pain she was in? How could he even call himself a man, or a human being?  
  
"These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase."  
  
Almost effortlessly, her voice soared through the notes, each word perfectly pitched and delivered, but resonating with unspoken emotion, each word, an unspoken plea.  
  
Unspoken until now, until Matt couldn't see her, though she was sitting in front of him, the song written for him, to him.  
  
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me."  
  
For years she had given him all of her heart and soul, and he couldn't even see her.  
  
Even if she was blind she would be able to see him, to find him.  
  
Even blindfolded on the darkest day of the year, spinning around and playing Marco Polo, she would still be able to find him.  
  
Yet here she sat, right in front of him. And he couldn't see her.  
  
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along."  
  
Struggling to keep her tears in check she continued to sing, skipping a few piano notes, but nothing that made a difference to the sound of the song. Willing her tears away, she made it through the last part of the song with dry eyes.  
  
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of you fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
All of me  
  
All of me  
  
All of me."  
  
She sat there silently for a moment, waiting to see if they would all just walk away, but no one moved.  
  
"Was there something you all wanted?" She asked, finally turning around.  
  
"Lita!" Hunter exclaimed.  
  
"I suppose in some bizarre, sick, twisted way I should proud that you even know my name." She answered. "Was there a reason you all decided to congregate here, or am I just lucky?"  
  
"I didn't you had any talent." Eric told her.  
  
"I've got more talent in my little finger, and more aptitude for artistic and applied knowledge tasks than you have in your entire body." Lita punctuated her words with a smile that dazzled the array of men.  
  
"Any special reason why you're hiding out here all on you own?" Eric taunted her.  
  
"I was feeling a bit lonely." She replied. "But I suppose that's expected. Born alone, die alone and get screwed in between."  
  
"That's awfully cynical." Ric told her. "You should wait until you're older to be that cynical."  
  
"Just how old do you think I am?" She shot back, a little annoyed.  
  
"Twenty-two?"  
  
She leaned back, resting her spine against the piano, arms folded across her chest. "I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult."  
  
"Typical female." Eric shook his head at her.  
  
"Maybe I should call you all 'typical males' and see how you feel about it." Lita told him.  
  
"This new talent of yours..." He began.  
  
"I've been playing the piano for a very long time." She interrupted.  
  
"How long?" Randy Orton asked her.  
  
She paused before answering. "Longer than you've been alive."  
  
"So how old are you?" He asked.  
  
"Older than you junior."  
  
"You are going to 'showcase' this new talent of yours, live on RAW this Monday night." Eric told her.  
  
Lita shook her head. "I don't play for audiences, I haven't for a long time."  
  
"I'm telling you..." Eric began.  
  
"I'll tell you a little story." She interrupted. "I started learning piano when I was three years old, and by the time I was fifteen I had completed examinations that people twice and three times my age could not even begin to comprehend.  
  
About three weeks after my sixteenth birthday, I had been invited to play at a gala for some of Florida's senators and other important people. I was so nervous about it, about making one mistake that I practiced constantly, playing for sometimes seven hours a day, until eventually I lost it and just played without stopping for hours upon hours.  
  
Until my fingers were red raw and bleeding and my parents dragged me away because they couldn't bear to see me in so much pain." She stared at her fingertips for a moment. "The scars are long gone now, but I still remember the open wounds."  
  
"So let me get this straight," Hunter began, "You got stage fright, and now you won't play the piano."  
  
"I had anxiety attacks, a whole lot of them," Lita corrected him, "And I don't play very often any more. Most often I don't have time while I'm away from home."  
  
"Monday night RAW." Eric repeated.  
  
"No." She answered. "Nothing you say can make me change my mind."  
  
"How about if you don't, 'YOU'RE FIRED.'" Eric suggested.  
  
"How about do that, and I'll sue you for breach of contract." She answered with a wide innocent smile. "Nothing in my contract says anything about musical performance being part of my job."  
  
"The song." Jericho interrupted. "Where's it from?"  
  
"It's one of the millions I wrote after breaking up with another asshole." She replied casually. "If you liked that one you should hear some of the other miserable songs I've written after getting dumped, or cutting someone loose, or going through the whole 'it's not you, it's me,' speech. Except that in those there's actually some songs I like."  
  
"Anything heavier?" Chris asked her.  
  
"As in drums, bass, electric, and keyboard?" She asked. "Of course, why, you want to hear some more?"  
  
"Would you mind?" He asked.  
  
"Actually..." Lita glanced at her watch. "Yes, I would mind, I need coffee, or ice cream or some kind of legal stimulant, hopefully chocolate."  
  
"You're still playing on Monday night RAW." Eric insisted.  
  
"I'm not singing for you. Not anymore than I would give you a lap dance."  
  
"A lap dance..." Eric mused. "Now that sounds like fun."  
  
"It's not in my contract either, so you have zero chance." Lita told him.  
  
"I'm sure I could find a loop hole." He flirted with her.  
  
"I'm not sure you can take a hint. I'm not singing for you, and I'm not giving you a lap dance either."  
  
"You will do as you're damn well told." Eric told her, "Or you will suffer the consequences."  
  
Turning away she pushed several keys on the piano, a simple rendition of 'Chopsticks.' Then, once she'd finished she turned and looked at him. "If you're going to force me to play, I hope you like your piece for Monday night RAW."  
  
"You wouldn't play that." He told her.  
  
"Guys who know me well, would I play that just piss Eric off?" She asked casually.  
  
"Yeah, you would." Rob smiled at her. "The song you played before was beautiful."  
  
She smiled at him. "Thank you."  
  
"How would you feel if I offered to buy the song rights to that one?" Chris asked. "For my band."  
  
"I'm very flattered, but that one is actually already sold." Lita answered him. "I do a lot of business with a music group, and the lead singer heard 'My Immortal' and she fell in love with it. It goes to air on Tuesday."  
  
"You're a song writer too?" Eric asked her.  
  
"Told you I was talented." She gave him a wicked smile.  
  
"Do you ever stop flirting?" Matt asked her.  
  
She stared at him for a second, as though considering his words. "Since you think I'm flirting with Eric, whom I actually can't stand, I'm beginning to wonder just how well you think you know me."  
  
"Pretty damn well." He shot back.  
  
"So who is this music group you sold the song rights too?" Chris asked.  
  
"One of my favourites," Lita replied, "Evanescence."  
  
"You're joking!" Randy said to her. "I love their stuff."  
  
"You have some talent girl." Jericho told her.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Lita told him sarcastically, not believing a word he said. "Anyway, did you all want something, or did you just stop by to listen to me pour my heart out to a piano?"  
  
"What are you doing tonight?" Hunter asked her impulsively.  
  
"I don't know." She replied.  
  
"Do you want to go out?" He asked.  
  
"With you?"  
  
"Well yeah."  
  
She smiled, almost as though she was flattered by his invitation. "I've got three words for you. No thank you."  
  
"You just said 'no'." Hunter repeated.  
  
"What, has that never happened to you before?" Lita asked, amused by his behavior.  
  
"Uh..." He began.  
  
"Don't feel bad." Lita told him. "I just have it down on your entire gender."  
  
"Explain that?"  
  
"I'm sick of men and their stupid fucking hang ups." She answered.  
  
"See that's where you're wrong." Hunter told her. "Chicks are the ones who have the hang ups, not guys."  
  
"Way to go, someone should patent your pick up lines." Lita clapped several times. "Dissing my gender is not the ideal way to make me change my mind about going out with you. And that's another thing about guys. You never admit it when you're wrong."  
  
"Neither do women." Eric told her.  
  
"If I'm wrong, I don't have a problem admitting it." She answered. "But I'm not wrong very often."  
  
"Name one thing you were right about." Hunter challenged her.  
  
"Goldberg kicked your ass and took your title." Lita smiled at him.  
  
Hunter stared at her for a moment.  
  
"Name something you were wrong about?" Matt challenged her.  
  
"Trish tried to warn me that you were a self-centered, conniving son of a bitch who didn't give a shit about me." She said quietly. "I told her that you loved me."  
  
Without saying another word Lita stood up and walked out of the room, holding her head up high.  
  
For several seconds, it was almost like her voice was echoing in the room.  
  
"I've been alone all along."  
  
"Lita." Matt grabbed her hand, pulling her around to face him. Her face was streaked with tears and she was clearly both angry and upset.  
  
"Don't fucking touch me Matt. You gave up that right when you left me."  
  
"Lita, please..." He began again, reaching out to touch her.  
  
She slapped him as hard as she could, using all the leverage she could muster. "I said don't fucking touch me Matt."  
  
"I know that you're upset, but do you really have to take it out on me?" He asked, holding his cheek with one hand.  
  
"Jeff would call it karma." She answered, hissing and spitting like a cat backed into a corner.  
  
"Do you want to calm down now?" Eric asked her.  
  
"Do I want to, or am I going to?" She asked in return. "Because the answer is neither. I have no intention of calming down, and I'm not going to. I'm upset and I'm allowed to be."  
  
"You're being ridiculous." Matt told her.  
  
"Is that because I slapped you, or because you still can't handle it when I cry?"  
  
"Because you're acting like a crazy woman." He shot back.  
  
"I can't even hate you yet." Lita told him, brushing several tears away angrily. "And I don't know why, because I have let you hurt me more times than I can count." Tears trickled down her cheeks unchecked, with Lita not caring at the array of men who were staring at her.  
  
"Li," A voice said gently. She turned around and let the speaker pulled her into a hug. "It's okay babe. We're here now."  
  
"What are you doing here?" Eric asked the three men.  
  
"We've come to take nuestra luchadora ir a casa." Rey's soft, gentle voice answered.  
  
"In English if you don't mind." Bischoff remarked sarcastically.  
  
"We've come to take Lita home." Jeff answered, translating Rey's impromptu Spanish.  
  
"Jeff." Matt greeted his younger brother.  
  
"Don't start now Matt." Jeff warned him. "I could take you to pieces at the moment for what you did. Any number of people could, and still might."  
  
"Your stunts are getting old dawg." John told him. "You won't even want to show your face at the next joint pay-per-view. Half the SMACKDOWN roster wants to beat on your ass."  
  
"You're taking her home?" Matt asked.  
  
"Yeah," Jeff told him. "We're taking her home. Home to Cameron."  
  
"I'm sorry to say this," Eric began, his voice sarcastic. "But Lita's not going anywhere. She has a show to do."  
  
"Vince and Linda are very sorry that you are the person who orchestrated Matt's return to RAW. They're just as sorry about the incredibly malicious way Matt lead her on, and then left her on national television." Jeff told him. "Linda is especially upset about it."  
  
"She gets upset about a lot of things." Eric smirked.  
  
"You aren't the brightest star in the sky are you?" John asked him.  
  
"Vince has ended, or is in the process of ending his affair with Sable." Rey told them. "You might not know this because you are below the radar, but Vince is trying to make it up to his wife."  
  
"And the fact that they both love Lita like a daughter doesn't sit well in your favor." Jeff added.  
  
"Can you remember what a protective daddy Vince was when you married Stephanie?" John asked Hunter. "She's great by the way. She's gotten to be a lot more fun since Heyman replaced her as GM on SMACKDOWN."  
  
Hunter fumed silently, while John chuckled, amused by the response he got from the older man.  
  
"We're going to take Lita with us now." Rey told Eric. "If you have a problem, call Vince and Linda." He slipped an arm around Lita's waist, as she reached out her arms to hug him, burying her face in his shoulder, speaking quietly in mumbled Spanish.  
  
As John stepped forwards so that they could leave, Triple H blocked his way.  
  
"What's your problem now, dawg?"  
  
"Dawg?" Randy asked, with a laugh.  
  
"Do you even speak English?" Hunter asked him.  
  
"He does better than you I would wager." Lita said quietly, forcing everyone to quieten down in order to hear her.  
  
"You need to learn some respect, all of you." Eric told them.  
  
John chuckled, looking back at his companions, then turning back to Eric. He waved his hand in front of his face. "You can't see me, homy."  
  
"Oh, for God's sake!" Ric exclaimed. "Could you just shut up and let someone else talk?"  
  
Taking his cue, Hunter began to talk trash to John and the others. "What are you going to do about us not letting you leave, huh? A pack of Cruiserweights."  
  
John stood tall, almost nose to nose with Hunter. "Who are you calling a Cruiserweight, homy? I ain't, Rey kicks the asses of the biggest guys in the business, and Jeff's not afraid of an ass like you."  
  
Lita pulled out of Rey's arms and walked over to Hunter, driving her heel down onto his toes, making him shout out in pain. "Don't ever make threats towards the people I care about." She told him, her voice hard and angry, surprising everyone.  
  
"Like I told you before, but you weren't listening," John began, stepping in front of Lita, shielding her. "You can't see me."  
  
Tear prickled Lita's eyes as he spoke.  
  
"What now?" Matt asked her.  
  
"It's strange, but John's right." She said softly. "I've always been able to see you. If I were blind, blindfolded in the middle of the darkest night, spun around so many times I couldn't stand up, it didn't matter. I would still be able to see you, to find you. And you can't see me when you aren't looking at my face. You don't know me at all."  
  
Shrugging her shoulders Lita walked away from them, away from Matt and Eric, who always seemed to want to hurt her. At the end of the corridor she turned around. "I don't want you anymore Matt. It's just like my mom told me when I was fifteen. 'No man is worth you tears Amy,' she used to say, 'And the one who is won't make you cry.' I guess she was right all along. For as long as we were together, I was alone."  
  
"Do you honestly believe that?" He asked her, his voice angry.  
  
Slowly she nodded her head. "Yeah, I do believe that." She answered. "You want to know what else she told me? 'Don't waste your time on a man who isn't willing to waste their time on you.' I guess time just ran out on you too."  
  
Lita looked at John, Rey and Jeff. "Guys, let's go home."  
  
"You aren't going anywhere." Matt told her.  
  
"Can you see me, Matt? Can you see me like you once did? I can't see you like I once did, not anymore, Matt. You can stand there, right in front of me, and I can still remember how nervous you were the first time we went out, and I can remember talking all night, sleeping with you, Christmas, New Year's Eve. They aren't happy memories for me any more Matt. They're scars that I will bear until the end of time, because every time you gave me one of those memories, you followed it up with betrayal." She told him. "I'm not going anywhere, but I'm not staying here."  
  
"Es vale, luchadora." Rey reassured her. "We all move on in time."  
  
"Then my time has come, my song is sung, and I want to move on, all of that crap. I don't know how to stay standing still, so I'll move. I don't care where to."  
  
"How about home?" Jeff suggested, bringing a smile to her face, a real smile.  
  
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, and no other people I'd rather be with." She hugged him, and then John, before walking down the hall, vanishing from sight.  
  
"Who's going to be there for you now Matt? Who's going to stay with you when no one else will? I'm your brother, and even I've turned from your side when you've been an ass. She stuck by you no matter what you did." Jeff said to his brother.  
  
"You don't need to worry about her no more." John told him. "She's got three guys who love her better than you ever could, and more than you ever did. Word Life."  
  
Together the three men followed Lita down the hall, vanishing as she had, from the sight of the others. 


	2. Imaginary

A/N: A sequel to 'My Immortal'. A couple of people asked if there was one and I got inspired I guess. Song is 'Imaginary' by Evanescence. If the Spanish in this chapter (and the tiny bit that I used in MI) is really bad and ungrammatical I'm really sorry. I only know a little bit and I'm not sure how coherent it is, so feel free to FLAME me for it. I will understand. (Although, if you wanted to offer me some corrections, and you're fluent in Spanish I'd love to hear from you. I'm looking for someone to beta read a new story of mine that has a lot of Spanish in it, so drop me a line.)  
  
As always, let me know what you think,  
  
Samantha.  
  
****************  
  
Imaginary.  
  
"Chica?" Rey asked gently, sensing her awake beside him. "You should be asleep."  
  
"I don't sleep well." She said softly, her head still cushioned against the pillow, which rested against the wall of the plane. Lita remained perfectly still, just looking out of the window.  
  
"It will be all right you know." He said softly, patting her leg.  
  
She didn't answer him, but tears trickled softly down her cheeks.  
  
Unable to comfort her, Rey just stayed where he was, hoping that by just being there with her, she'd know that he was there for her.  
  
"How was she?" John asked as they began to collect their baggage.  
  
"She slept for a while, but she also said that she hasn't bee sleeping well lately." Rey answered, then became more serious. "Our luchadora cried again. I'm worried that Matt has broken her."  
  
"I should have killed the bastard." John growled. "Killed him for what he did to her."  
  
"Get in line." Rey told him, watching as Jeff guided Lita back over to them.  
  
Jeff had his arm around Lita, and had added her carry on luggage to his own, slinging both bags over one shoulder.  
  
"Let's just go home guys." He told the other two.  
  
They looked at him strangely for a second, wondering if Lita had said something to him, but she remained almost completely silent all the way to Jeff's, save for several 'yes' and 'no' answers, a tiny 'I'll have a vanilla thick shake please' and a pained 'It's good to be home.'  
  
Late that night, when the guys walked upstairs to check on Lita, they found her lying on her bed, on her back, just staring up at the ceiling.  
  
Without hesitation Jeff lay down next to her, looking up at the ceiling. It was only when he turned his head to look at her that he noticed tears sparkling in her brilliant hazel eyes.  
  
"You're better off without him." He told her. "I know that Matt's my brother, so I know just how much of an ass he can be."  
  
"Last week on RAW..." Lita began, then dissolved into tears, turning on her side and curling up against him. Gently he patted her back and hugged her, trying to calm her with no success.  
  
"It's going to be okay." He told her gently.  
  
"I feel like I'm dying." She choked out. "More and more everyday since he left me, and a part of me just wants it all to stop." She broke into a fresh flood of tears, sobbing into Jeff's chest like the world was ending.  
  
As her sobs abated Rey and John squashed onto the bed with them, all four of them just staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"You know," Jeff began, "I think we really need to paint this ceiling. It's so... white."  
  
Lita didn't even smile at his words. Instead she wriggled a little to make herself more comfortable, then began to speak, her voice calm this time. "Last week on RAW when Matt told me that he had something to ask me, I was so excited."  
  
"We know babe." John told her. "It's okay, you don't have to explain it to us. We saw it."  
  
"I was so excited, not just because I thought he wanted to marry me, but also because I had something I wanted to tell him."  
  
She fell silent for several moments, and the three men knew that she was trying to collect her thoughts, and choose the right words. "Guys, I'm pregnant with Matt's child." She said softly, waiting for their individual responses.  
  
"?Tu embarazada?" Rey asked quietly. *You're pregnant.*  
  
"Si." She answered him in Spanish.  
  
"I'll kill him." John fumed. "I'll absolutely kill him."  
  
"I'm going to be an uncle." Jeff piped up suddenly.  
  
His shocked, but happy vocalization was enough to make Lita smile.  
  
"Thank you for bringing me home." She told them. "I really needed it."  
  
John managed a lop-sided smile. "That's what friends are for."  
  
"No." Lita corrected him. "That's what family is for."  
  
The four were quiet for several moments before Jeff spoke. "Have you thought about getting another place? I mean, I know you've moved most of the stuff you had at Dad's house."  
  
"I'm thinking about it." She replied. "I just haven't had much time lately. "I had all of my stuff thrown into storage. You want to help me with house hunting?"  
  
"Move in here." Jeff told her. "Don't look at me like that, I'm serious. If you move in here, you won't have to worry about looking for another place, and I'll be around to help you with the baby once it's born."  
  
"That's a lot to ask of you." She told him.  
  
"I know what I'm getting myself in for." He told her.  
  
"Besides, with Matt being the ass that he is, I'll never get to see my niece or nephew otherwise, and I know that Dad would like it if you stuck around."  
  
"Do you know what I realized last night, or the night before, when you guys came to get me? I realized that I'm not in love with Matt anymore. Then I had the stupidity to think that I was alone. And there you three were, proving me wrong, and showing me just how lucky I am."  
  
The three men lay there staring at Lita with confused looks on their faces.  
  
"I'm lucky because I know that I'm loved by some of the strongest people I'll ever meet in my lifetime."  
  
********  
  
"Jeff, what are you doing?" Lita groaned as sunlight flooded the room, pulling her doona up, and burying her head in her pillows.  
  
"I'm measuring." He answered happily, something uncharacteristic for him early in the morning.  
  
"Haven't you heard of morning sickness?" She groaned.  
  
"You aren't being sick." He answered, still measuring away.  
  
"I feel like I got hit by a truck." She growled, throwing a spare pillow at him, which connected satisfactorily with his back. "Go away." Lita rolled onto her other side and curled up to sleep again.  
  
***********  
  
Hours later she appeared in the lounge room where Jeff and John were playing one of the latest wrestling games on PS2.  
  
Without speaking Lita curled up on the couch next to Rey, resting her head in his lap.  
  
"How did you sleep?" He asked.  
  
"Better." She confessed, "But still not great."  
  
"It just takes time." He told her, stroking her hair as she relaxed.  
  
"Got you!" John cheered as his character pinned Jeff's.  
  
"So what the hell were you measuring in my room this morning?" Lita asked Jeff. "And why the hell were you in such a hurry to be measuring?"  
  
"I thought we could get your room re-done." He grinned at her. "What happened to you being a morning person?"  
  
"Morning sickness." She replied, still comfortable in Rey's lap.  
  
"How are you doing?" John asked her.  
  
"I just spent twenty minutes throwing up everything I've eaten in the last eight hours."  
  
"Does that mean you're hungry?" Jeff asked.  
  
Lita managed to shake her head, and closed her eyes, comfortable and safe in Rey's lap.  
  
************  
  
"Do you think we should go in there and get her?" John asked, "I mean, she needs to eat."  
  
Jeff nodded, "Rey, can you take over here?"  
  
Rey surprised him by turning the hot plate off and following the out of the room, each of them listening to find out where she might be.  
  
They finally found her, but only by the sound of the keyboard, which resonated through the whole top floor of the house.  
  
"I linger in the doorway,  
  
of alarm clocks screaming  
  
monsters calling my name  
  
let me stay  
  
where the wind will whisper to me  
  
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story."  
  
Jeff shook his head as she played, closing his eyes as she sang, her voice almost melancholy and despairing, but her words were gentle and poetic, each one carefully pronounced, without the infliction of her mixed Southern, Spanish and slight Canadian accent, gained from hanging around Trish so much.  
  
"In my field of paper flowers  
  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
and watch my purple sky fly over me."  
  
The three men stood there, not willing to interrupt as she continued, the song not quite making sense, strangely whimsical and fantastic for her, yet seemed to be more her than anything else.  
  
"Don't say I'm out of touch  
  
with this rampant chaos, your reality  
  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge,  
  
the nightmare I built my own world to escape."  
  
As she sang, Rey remembered some of the words being used before.  
  
'You're out of touch, Lita.' Matt had yelled at her during an argument.  
  
'I don't want anything to do with your chaos.' She'd answered, then walked off into the hall, where Rey had followed her, and held her tightly as she cried.  
  
"In my field of paper flowers  
  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
and watch my purple sky fly over me."  
  
John was strangely moved by Lita's playing, something that didn't happen often to the Doctor of Thuganomics, who preferred free-style rap and heavy music, but this music was pure and the way she played it, was almost like a reflection of all the emotion she held inside.  
  
"Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
  
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights  
  
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
  
the goddess of imaginary light...."  
  
The change of tempo moved each of the men almost as much as her song did, though they weren't sure if Lita knew that they were there.  
  
At the keyboard, Lita continued to move her fingers over the keys, lulled by the smooth, gentle melody of the song, and finally relaxed in a whirl of her own creativity.  
  
"In my field of paper flowers  
  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
and watch my purple sky fly over me.  
  
In my field of paper flowers  
  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
  
I lie inside myself for hours  
  
and watch my purple sky fly over me."  
  
They stood in silence as the last notes died away, Lita speaking before any of the guys did.  
  
"It's my new song." She said softly.  
  
"It's beautiful." Jeff told her. "Where did you get the idea?"  
  
"Remember how we were bored and we thought we'd make some stuff? That collage I made..."  
  
"The one Matt teased you about." Jeff nodded as he remembered what she'd made. "Paper flowers, pink clouds and a purple sky."  
  
************  
  
On Wednesday Lita, Rey and John drove to Charlotte, where SMACKDOWN! was being filmed.  
  
"Hey," A voice called to the trio a they walked towards the men's locker room.  
  
They turned to face the speaker, and Lita found herself wrapped up in a hug.  
  
"I thought it was you." Kurt was telling her. "Defecting are we?"  
  
Lita smiled as he let her go. "More like vacation. I came with these two." She gestured to Rey and John.  
  
"What about RAW? JR and the King made up some excuse as you why you weren't there."  
  
"Wasn't up to performing." She shrugged. "I'm fully expecting to be fired next Monday, but I just don't care any more."  
  
"Chica, what are you doing in this neck of the words?" Eddie Guerrero exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.  
  
"Just visiting." Lita managed to smile again. "I've been in North Carolina since Saturday I think, and the guys asked me if I wanted come to tonight's taping."  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" Paul Heyman's voice sounded.  
  
"Chill, chill, chill." John told him, "She's with us tonight." He gestured to Lita as he spoke.  
  
Lita held up her visitor's pass. "I'm just visiting Paul."  
  
"I wish you were defecting." He told her. "We could use someone to spice up the women's division."  
  
"The only reason I'm on RAW, not SMACKDOWN is that the Women's Championship belt is on RAW. Otherwise I'd be here. It's a better work environment."  
  
"How's Matt by the way?" Paul asked.  
  
Lita's smile immediately failed. "You didn't see him dump me on RAW, not last show the one before? You must be one of the only people who didn't."  
  
Several of the superstars stared at her.  
  
"You're kidding?" Eddie said to her.  
  
"He showed up, gave everyone the idea that he wanted to marry me, then betrayed me. Needless to say we're not on speaking terms anymore."  
  
"What a prick!" Dawn-Marie announced as she gave Lita a hug, sensing that the other woman was about to lose her composure.  
  
"To make matters worse, I got fired right after." Lita shook her head. "I'm lucky I still have a couple of friends on RAW. Christian used a favor Bischoff owed him to get me my job back, but I don't know if I want to keep working there any more."  
  
"I'll sign you faster than you can say 'I quit'." Paul promised.  
  
"Whatever happens, I'm going to take some personal time. There are some things I need to do before I start seriously wrestling again."  
  
The others looked at her cautiously, but found themselves distracted by someone turning on loud music.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?" Paul shouted over the noise.  
  
"I THINK NIDIA'S CELEBRATING AGAIN!" Dawn screamed in response, covering her own ears. "LITA, COME ON! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME CHEERING UP!" The taller diva grinned at Lita, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the noise.  
  
"It looks like she's doing okay." Kurt shrugged.  
  
"She's just doing better." John told them. "I think being somewhere different is helping."  
  
"What do you mean she's doing better?" Paul asked. "How bad has she been?"  
  
"Crying all the time, not sleeping, the first few days we had her home she'd only eat when we sat her down at the table." John shook his head. "I could kill him for what he did to her."  
  
"We all could." Kurt told him. "We still might."  
  
Later on Lita practically danced into the guys locker room and promptly curled herself up next to Rey.  
  
"Is everything okay?" John asked her.  
  
She just nodded and smiled at him. "I think I should get together with Dawn, Nidia and Torrie more often."  
  
"How are you feeling, about Matt I mean?" Bradshaw asked from beside John, while Lita could see Rey's reflection in the mirror, the 'Mexican Jumping Bean' making exuberant 'NO' gestures.  
  
"I'm not going to cry." She told Rey, "He's not worth it. Sure I feel betrayed and hurt and angry, but I'm not bitter. Matt is Matt, and I should have probably seen it coming. Truth be told, he was probably screwing around on me."  
  
"You shouldn't think that way." Scotty told her.  
  
"If Nidia can throw an impromptu dance party, celebrating her breakup with Jamie, I can be fine about Matt."  
  
"Nidia had a dance party?" John asked. "Why wasn't I invited?"  
  
"You were discriminated against due to your gender." Lita smiled, then translated for him. "You weren't invited 'cos you're a guy."  
  
"Hey chica," Rey began, "Do you want to valet for us tonight? For John and I anyway."  
  
"I don't know..." She began.  
  
"They're wrestling us tonight." Rikishi told her, gesturing to himself and Scotty. "If you're worried about getting hurt, don't be. We'll keep it clean."  
  
"You could even sit with Tazz and Cole." Scott suggested. "Then we'd know exactly where you were."  
  
"I like that idea." John nodded. "You go out with Rey, and then sit with Tazz and Cole. We'll tell them a special guest is going to sit with them."  
  
Rey shook his head. "Let it be a surprise."  
  
*********  
  
"WHO'S THAT JUMPIN' OUT OF THE SKY? R-E-Y MYSTERIO, HERE WE GO!"  
  
Rey's entrance music blared as bounced up from 'his' platform, waiting for Lita at the top of the ramp.  
  
"Hey, Cole, look who that is walking down with Mysterio." Tazz gestured to Rey and the tall red head accompanying him. "It looks like Lita."  
  
"It is Lita, Tazz. I wonder what she's doing here?" Cole answered.  
  
"Maybe she's defecting?" Tazz suggested as Lita and Rey reached the ring, strains of John Cena's 'Basic Thuganomics' pounding through the sound system.  
  
For once John didn't stop to talk trash, just waltzed down the ramp and slid into the ring.  
  
Lita smiled as he laid his steel chain carefully over her head, then grabbed his trucker hat and shoved it backwards on her head.  
  
They hit fists before Lita slid out of the ring and walked over to the announcer's table, where Tazz, almost completely speechless stood up to hug her, then helped her to adjust a microphone headset.  
  
"So, what's going on?" Tazz asked her as Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty made their way down to the ring.  
  
"I thought I'd stop by and say hello." Lita smiled.  
  
"Well it's good to have you back on SMACKDOWN!" Tazz told her. "I don't think you've met my broadcast partner, Michael Cole."  
  
"It's nice to meet you." She reached over Tazz and shook Cole's hand.  
  
"Likewise." He told her.  
  
"So are you defecting?" Tazz asked.  
  
"No, just visiting." Lita held her visitor's pass up so that the two men could see it.  
  
"So our General Manager Paul Heyman knows you're here?" Cole asked.  
  
"Yeah, it's been great so far, seeing everyone again. There's a lot of new faces, and new talent here."  
  
"We've been saying the same thing." Tazz told her. "But what about RAW? You were scheduled to wrestle Jazz, but you didn't show up. What happened there?"  
  
"Some of the guys came to get me, and brought me home for personal reasons." She replied, them jumped out of her seat cheering as Rey 619'd Scotty.  
  
"It seems like you've kept in pretty close contact with some of the guys." Tazz observed as she sat down. "Something like that." Lita nodded, watching the match intently.  
  
"So what about Matt Hardy?" Cole asked. "Is it true that you two have split up?"  
  
Seeing the flicker of pain cross her face, Tazz began commentating the match again, Lita following suite, cheering as John gave Scotty the F-U and pulled his leg up from the three count. 


	3. Taking Over Me

A/N: Next chapter up!! R and R as always, and thanks for your reviews everyone.  
  
Samantha  
  
**************  
  
Taking Over Me.  
  
Lita walked into the meeting several minutes late.  
  
As soon as she entered, Eric turned his attention to her.  
  
"Lita, so lovely of you to join." He told her, sarcasm dripping from every word.  
  
She twisted her wrist, glancing at her watch. "I'm three minutes late."  
  
"What the hell were you doing on SMACKDOWN?" He snapped at her. "Your contract signs you to RAW. I can sue you, and Paul Heyman for this."  
  
"I didn't wrestle." Lita told him. "My contract states that I'm only allowed to wrestle on RAW, or at pay-per-views. It doesn't say anything about appearing on SMACKDOWN, which I did for one night, with a visitor's pass. I valeted one match because Rey, John, Scotty and Rikishi asked me to."  
  
Eric looked shocked at her words.  
  
"I had a nice break though, thanks for asking." She continued.  
  
"I don't suppose you moved all of your crap." Matt said to her.  
  
"I completely moved house." She told him, not caring that every superstar on RAW was staring at her. Lita turned her attention back to Eric. "Eric, I want to go on leave." She told him.  
  
"You want to what?" He asked.  
  
"I want some time off."  
  
"How long?" Eric looked shocked by her request.  
  
"At least eight months." Lita told him.  
  
"Just eight months? Only eight months?" Eric asked her. "What the hell am I meant to say to that?"  
  
"Yes." Lita answered without hesitation. "You're meant to say 'yes'."  
  
"What the hell do you want eight months off for?"  
  
Lita turned away from him, to look Matt straight in the eyes. "Do you remember how when you wanted to ask me something, how happy I was? It wasn't just because I thought you came here because you loved me. It was because I had something to tell you, Matt."  
  
"What could you possibly..." Matt began, his V.1.0 Mattitude arrogance showing through.  
  
"I'm pregnant." She cut him off. "I was going to tell you that we are going to have a baby." She bit her lip.  
  
"Lita," The look on Matt's face had changed completely. "Hold on..." He grabbed her arm, which she shoved away angrily.  
  
"I've told you not to fucking touch me Matthew." She snapped at him, then turned back to Eric. "If you're not going to let me take leave, then I quit. But, if I quit I will never come back to RAW. Not for any reason ever."  
  
Lita, please." Matt tried again.  
  
"Just don't Matt." She told him. "I wasn't enough for you before, and now I don't love you."  
  
"Please."  
  
"I moved out Matt. I'm even living with someone new, an old friend. Everyone I've told is really excited about the baby. Especially Jeff. He, Rey and John have already christened themselves 'uncles'. Gil and my parents couldn't be happier either."  
  
"Who the fuck are you living with?" Matt demanded.  
  
"He lives about three houses up the road." She answered. "And don't you dare stand there, trying to interrogate me about what I'm doing with my life!"  
  
"You moved in with Jeff." He stared at her.  
  
"I almost moved in with Rey. I'm still deciding where I'm going to stay." She told him, simply to torment him.  
  
"You will not have my kid in fucking Mexico!" Matt told her.  
  
"So now you've got something against people who are from Mexico?" She shot back. "Thanks Matt. It's nice to know that I wasn't good enough because I wanted to be competitive, and now, I wasn't good enough because I have Mexican origins."  
  
"Could you just stop this." Matt grabbed her shoulders, shaking her hard, which earned him a hard slap to his right cheek as she fought to free herself from his grip.  
  
She stood there, almost shaking for a moment before Matt took another step towards her.  
  
"Lita, you have..."  
  
"Do not even think about touching her again." Jeff moved between his brother and his best friend.  
  
"What the..." Eric began.  
  
"You can't go around treating people like crap Matt. She's carrying your child for Gods's sake." Jeff interrupted Eric to speak to Matt, then turned to Lita. "Are you okay?"  
  
As he spoke John and Rey walked into the room. At once Rey saw the look on her face and moved to stand beside her. John on the other hand hugged her, linking his arms gently around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder, making her feel completely safe.  
  
She stared at Matt for several seconds, then looked at Eric, tears sparkling in her hazel eyes.  
  
"I quit." She told him.  
  
"You quit?" He asked, a little surprised by her behavior, and by the appearance of Jeff, Rey and John.  
  
"I quit." Lita repeated, her voice choked with emotions that she was trying to contain. "Are you deaf? I quit. I'm not working here any more."  
  
"What are you going to do then?" Eric asked her, still shocked at the words leaving her mouth.  
  
Lita simply burst into tears, and turned to sob into John's shoulder. He hugged her more tightly and spoke quietly into her ear, trying to calm her, then shook his head at Rey.  
  
"We'll take her out to the car, try to calm her down." Rey told Jeff, smoothing one hand over Lita's hair.  
  
Jeff watched, shaking his head as the two men led her out of the room.  
  
"You had to push her!" Jeff rounded on his brother. "You have no fucking idea what you've done to her, do you? She barely sleeps, only eats when we sit her down at the table, and even though you've treated her like shit, she still can't hate you. Do you have any idea how many times she's cried since last week? Or how many days we've sat with her, just curled up on the couch because she feels to sick to even move?" He shook his multi-colored head in disgust. "Being Version 1 is all that matters to you isn't it Matt? Or should I say 'wasn't it', because we both know you've always wanted kids, but I won't blame her if she tells you she never wants to see you again."  
  
"Jeff..." Matt tried to speak, but Jeff cut him off.  
  
"Don't come down to my house, and don't call Matt. You make me sick." Once he'd finished speaking the younger Hardy stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  
  
**********  
  
"How's she doing?" Trish asked softly as she and several of the other divas spotted Jeff, Rey and John.  
  
"She's doing what she always does." Jeff shook his head sadly. "Just keeping busy, trying to pass the time. She's been playing that same song for more than an hour now."  
  
The small group looked over to where Lita sat at the piano in the hotel lobby.  
  
"You don't remember me but I remember you  
  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
  
But who can decide what they dream and dream I do..."  
  
"I could just kill him." John said softly, "Not just for this, but for everything he's done to her."  
  
"We all could." Stacy said quietly. "Even Scott and Drew are mad at the way he's treated her."  
  
"She's just got to pull through it in her own time." Jeff shook his head. "She'll get there in the end. Lita always does."  
  
"I believe in you  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
  
I have to be with you  
  
To live, to breathe, you're taking over me."  
  
"Why is she singing this? How can she still 'believe in him?'" Molly asked. "You'd think that she'd be so angry at him for what he did."  
  
"I think she's more angry at herself." Rey said quietly, still watching her as she played. "She doesn't trust a lot of people, and she trusted him, but he's betrayed her again."  
  
"Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?  
  
You saw me mourning my love for you  
  
And touched my hand  
  
I knew you loved me then."  
  
"I still... I don't understand why she sings about him." John shook his head.  
  
"It's not about Matt." Stacy told him softly, so as not to disturb Lita's playing. "It's about finding someone, the guy that pulls at your heart even though you're not quite sure he exists. It's about that one perfect guy you've dreamed about since you were a little girl."  
  
Trish nodded. "That one guy you'd give everything up for, because you just know deep inside that he's one for you."  
  
"I believe in you  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
  
I have to be with you  
  
To live, to breathe, you're taking over me."  
  
"So she's just thinking about the perfect guy?"  
  
Trish and Stacy both nodded, remaining silent, just watching her.  
  
"When you think about it, we really do go to great lengths to find 'the one' for us." Rey shook his head. "I wish I could make it easier for her. I hate seeing her like this."  
  
"I look in the mirror and see your face  
  
If I look deep enough  
  
So many things inside that are just like you are taking over."  
  
"You hate seeing her like this." John countered. "It's like she's just drifting. Sometimes she doesn't even occupy a room, it's like she's just a shadow, there for a little while. I miss my best bud."  
  
"We all miss her." Trish shook her head. "I just hope she's going to be okay."  
  
"I believe in you  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
  
I have to be with you  
  
To live, to breathe, you're taking over me  
  
"She's got the baby." Jeff told them. "If Lita doesn't want to be okay for herself, she'll be okay for her baby. Because there's something that needs her to be okay."  
  
"How does that work?" Molly asked.  
  
"Say you walked in there, crying your eyes out because you'd just had a fight with your boyfriend. She'd be up so fast, trying to take care of you that you would be shocked to see it was the same woman." Jeff answered. "She'd be okay because you needed her to be. She'll be okay soon. Lita will see that we need her soon, then she'll be fine."  
  
"I believe in you  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
  
I have to be with you  
  
To live, to breathe, you're taking over me."  
  
"I hope you're right." Trish said softly. "Because I think she's going to need a lot of support, from a lot of different people to get through this. Breaking up with someone she's been with for so long is hitting her really hard. But now she's also got a baby on the way to worry about. That would be daunting for anyone."  
  
"She's got all of us." Rey said softly. "I think we can bring her through it."  
  
"You're taking over me..."  
  
************  
  
"Come on babe." John told her gently. "You know that he's not worth it."  
  
Lita sniffled, her big hazel eyes staring up at him, looking lost and alone.  
  
"It's going to be okay you know." He reassured her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders.  
  
"I know." She rested her head on his shoulder, the same pained expression on her face. "I just can't help but think about what I'm taking away from him."  
  
"From Matt?" John sounded confused.  
  
"This baby." Lita gestured to her stomach. "I know that he's always wanted kids, and now after all this time, after work, and being financially stable, and me recovering from my broken neck, and us both being financially stable we're not even on speaking terms."  
  
"Lita..."  
  
"I hate that he's betrayed me, and I hate the way he treated me. But I don't hate him." She curled up against John, and just let him hold her, rocking her gently to try and help her calm down.  
  
"Don't worry." He told her gently. "I love you, even if he doesn't, I'll always love you." John moved her gently, lying her down on the bed.  
  
Lita's eyes fluttered opened and closed and he knew how tired she was.  
  
"Sleep now beautiful." John told her. "I'll always be here when you need me." 


	4. Everybody's Fool

A/N: FINALLY I am able to update!!!!!!!!  
  
*does a happy dance*  
  
Samantha  
  
Everybody's Fool.  
  
"Hey sweetie, how you doing?" John asked gently, his hand reaching out to find hers as she woke up slowly.  
  
Lita ran the fingers of her free hand over her forehead. "Not bad. Not worse." She said softly, giving him two answers for the expanse of things that his question covered.  
  
"Do you need anything?"  
  
She shook her head and sat up. "I think I'm just going to get up and go out for a walk or something, maybe come home after that and do some work."  
  
"Do you want some breakfast?"  
  
She wrinkled up her nose. "Maybe later."  
  
"I'm going back downstairs then. Yell if you need anything."  
  
She nodded, then turned to her closet to grab some clothing before going to take a shower.  
  
***********  
  
"She's been just sitting there for hours." John told the others. "I was going to go over there, but I didn't want to interrupt. She seems to be okay."  
  
"What do you mean?" Jeff asked.  
  
"She's just sitting there. Sometimes she just looks at the water or watches birds or something. It's almost like she's watching something, or looking for something that I can't see. Then she just sits there and writes, not intently like she's only focused on that, but like she's trying to keep track, or trying to remember the afternoon exactly as it is." John shook his head. "She almost seems happy, so I just left her. Who are we to judge what she needs all the time."  
  
Rey nodded. "Maybe she does just need some space. She's been alone for a long time."  
  
"But now she's choosing to be alone." Jeff nodded. "I guess she'll come to us when she gets hungry."  
  
"I don't think she'll notice." John told them. "Look at her, she's so... entranced by everything."  
  
"Why don't we get a fast picnic together then?" Rey asked. "Bring some food to her."  
  
"Sounds good to me." Jeff nodded.  
  
"Hey babe." Jeff said as he dropped down beside the red head.  
  
She smiled at him, folding her notebook and sticking her pen through the spiral binding on the side. "What's going on?"  
  
"Lunch." John told her, spreading a blanket out on the grass.  
  
"Is served!" Rey exclaimed, setting a picnic basket down on the blanket with a flourish, making the others laugh.  
  
"So who came up with this bright idea?" Lita asked them.  
  
"Well, if it's a bad idea," John began, "It was Rey's idea. If it's a good idea, it was my idea."  
  
She gave him a shove, then hugged him. "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you guys. Especially recently."  
  
"If we didn't have you to look after, we'd be at loose ends." Jeff said seriously, but was betrayed by the smile creeping over his face.  
  
"Come on Rey." John badgered the small Mexican. "I'm starving."  
  
Lita grinned. "Feed me, Seymour!"  
  
Jeff burst out laughing, doubling over and almost knocking over two of the glasses Rey had brought out from inside.  
  
"What's so funny?" John asked him, looking from Jeff to Lita as they both laughed.  
  
"I haven't see that movie in ages." Jeff said, holding his sides. "I'd forgotten that line."  
  
"What movie?" Rey asked, a little confused.  
  
"Little Shop of Horrors." Lita explained. "It's this... I don't know B movie Jeff and I watched ages ago when we were both out injured. We thought it was hilarious and for months afterwards we were quoting the film."  
  
"Let's get it out on video tonight." Jeff said suddenly.  
  
"Or we could just dig out the copy I gave you for Christmas a few years ago." Lita suggested.  
  
"Yes!" Jeff exclaimed. "Tonight, we sing!"  
  
"Sing?" Rey asked.  
  
"It has wicked funny songs on it." Jeff told him. "Like ummm... Little Shop, Little Shop of Horrors, Little Shop of Terrors, Call the Cops, Little Shop of Horrors, Oh, oh, oh, oh." He warbled, half off key as he did his best to impersonate the singers on the film.  
  
"Oh, or that other one." Lita giggled, waving her hands as she began to sing. "I've given you sunshine, I've given you dirt. You've given me nothing, But heartache and hurt..."  
  
She was joined by Jeff who sang a little more with her. "I'm telling you sweetly, I'm down on my knees, Please grow for me!"  
  
"You two are amazing." John just shook his head at them.  
  
"Amazing good, bad, scary, or just plain frightening?" Lita grinned at him.  
  
"What you said. Everything." He answered.  
  
"Can we watch it tonight?" Jeff asked, "I mean I can't believe you guys have never seen it."  
  
"Whatever." Rey shook his head, a smile on his face as he set a plate of sandwiches down on the blanket, followed by some cut-up fruit.  
  
The four of them ate in silence for several minutes, before Jeff moved to speak again. "So what were you doing here?" He asked Lita.  
  
"A little bit of writing." She shrugged. "Mostly I was just watching the water."  
  
"Can I see?" He asked, reaching for her notebook.  
  
"If you want." Lita shrugged and helped herself to some apple.  
  
"This is really good." Jeff said after a few moments, making Rey lean over his shoulder to read as well. "Is it for a new song?"  
  
"I think so." She nodded.  
  
"Listen to this." Jeff said to the others. "Perfect by nature. Icons of self indulgence."  
  
"Can I take a stab as to who we're talking about here?" John asked.  
  
"Everyone." Lita told him before he could answer incorrectly. "I'm going to call it 'Everybody's Fool.'"  
  
"Move it you guys." Lita said to them after a while as she begun to pile the empty plates in the basket. "I need to get some more work done."  
  
"All right then." Jeff gave her a puppy eyed look. "Will you play something for us later?"  
  
She nodded. "I promise I'll play something for you later. Maybe my new one if I can get it finished."  
  
***************  
  
"What's going on?" Lita asked as John sat down next to her, a strange look on his face.  
  
"I just... I wanted to talk to you." He said quietly.  
  
Lita stood up, gesturing for him to join her. "Humans think better on their feet."  
  
His face split into a smile for a moment as the sky continued to grow darker, the sun almost completely gone, with the first stars of the evening becoming pinpricks of light.  
  
"I want so badly to take care of you, and to help you." John said softly, staring as the shadows played across her features, leaving her face half in darkness, and half in light.  
  
"Then be here and take care of me if that's what you want." Lita told him. "I love having you guys around me, and hanging out with you, and all of us just being together."  
  
"But..." He began, then stopped, unsure of how to accurately say what he wanted to tell her.  
  
"Just talk." She encouraged him. "It helps."  
  
"I love you." John didn't look at her when he spoke. "Probably since I met you, I mean you're beautiful, and smart, and funny, and amazingly creative, and I can't for the life of me see how anyone would want to be further than they had to be from you. I know that you probably don't want to hear this, but it's something that I needed to say and I'm really sorry if you're mad, or I've upset you but I had to say it."  
  
She took a step towards him, placing her hand on his cheek and lifting his head up so that he was looking into her eyes. "I would never be angry with you for telling me how you feel, and no, I'm not upset either. I'm getting over Matt faster than you guys think. I'm not saying that I'm ready to start dating again, or that I'm jumping in line for another high-impact relationship, but I am getting over Matt. It just takes time." She reached out and took his hand, but there some something different about it this time.  
  
"So you aren't going to tell me to go to hell or to jump off a cliff or anything?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"Stay." Lita told him. "That's all I'm going to say. Just 'stay'."  
  
He hugged her, and she let him, resting her head against his chest for several moments, while he rested his head on top of hers.  
  
"John?"  
  
"Yeah." He answered.  
  
"Don't expect too much from me for a while. I don't want to hurt you."  
  
John held her for just a little bit longer, then let her go. "Come on. You promised you'd play for us."  
  
**********  
  
"So is this the song that you were writing earlier?" Jeff asked.  
  
Lita nodded, fiddling with the drum beat and tempo on Jeff's keyboard. "It might sound a little weird, because this is going to be the first time I've played it out loud, so just remember, this isn't the finished product."  
  
"It will be good." Rey assured her.  
  
John just gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze, not saying anything as Lita turned to concentrate on the keyboard in front of her.  
  
"I'll just play it through, then you have to promise to tell me what you think." She told them, only half interested in their responses as the starting notes of the song began to play through Jeff's speaker set up.  
  
"Perfect by nature  
  
Icons of self indulgence  
  
Just what we all need  
  
More lies about a world that...  
  
Never was and never will be  
  
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?  
  
You know you've got everybody fooled  
  
Look here she comes now  
  
Bow down and stare in wonder  
  
Oh how we love you  
  
No flaws when you're pretending  
  
But now I know she...  
  
Never was and never will be  
  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled  
  
Without the mask where will you hide  
  
Can't find yourself lost in your lie  
  
I know the truth now  
  
I know who you are  
  
And I don't love you anymore  
  
Never was and never will be  
  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled  
  
It never was and never will be  
  
You're not real and you can't save me  
  
Somehow now you're everybody's fool."  
  
"Well," Jeff began, "It's not one of those gorgeous classical pieces you love to write, but I like it. It's you."  
  
"He's right." Rey nodded, "You're not a prissy little girly-girl. There's a lot more to you than that."  
  
"I think you still have some issues." John said when Lita looked at him, waiting for his thoughts. "You keep writing about betrayal and bad guys."  
  
"I like the feelings that spiral from it." Lita told him. "Not feeling them personally obviously, but I like the ways that they can be explored. Do you understand? It's like every song I write isn't like an overview of my life, it's just about what's going through my head while I'm writing it. It's five minutes, or an afternoon of what I'm feeling."  
  
"I understand." Jeff nodded. "Everything else just takes a ride out the window for a bit, and it's just you and a pen, or a lap top, whatever."  
  
"Something like that." She answered. "I can look back on the songs I've written and I can say 'I was on the plane to Connecticut,' or 'I was sitting in the park across from the hotel we stayed in while we where in Tampa.' Stuff like that. It's a memory for me, sort of like a journal entry, but different. It's always part of me." 


	5. Bring Me To Life

A/N: Next Part!!!!!!!!!  
  
Samantha  
  
********  
  
Bring Me To Life.  
  
"Look JR." King told his co-announcer for the evening. "John Cena's here already, and from the looks of things he brought his hot new girlfriend."  
  
"Have you met her?" JR asked.  
  
"No, no, she's been some kind of mystery woman." King answered. "But she sure as hell looks hot."  
  
The pair watched Cena and his mystery girlfriend for several moments, seeing them both signing autographs, then posing for several pictures, John leaning over to kiss her.  
  
"Let's go and get the low down." King grinned at his counter part as the pair turned and began walking up the red carpet towards them.  
  
"What's up?" John thumped fists with King, still holding his girlfriend's hand.  
  
"Not much," King answered, "Who's your beautiful girlfriend?"  
  
John ran one hand over her stomach, and smiled at her. "Guys, you already know Lita."  
  
JR reached out to hug her. "It's been a while." He told her. "You're looking well."  
  
"Thank you, I feel really good." She gave them both a dazzling smile.  
  
"Now, the last time we saw you, you'd just told everyone that you were pregnant with Matt Hardy's child." King told her. "You also quit RAW."  
  
"Yeah. I'm pretty excited about it, being pregnant I mean, not quitting, though I think Jeff and John might even be more excited than I am." She laughed. "As for quitting, RAW is one screwed up place to work, but you guys know that. I'm not going to go back."  
  
"And how long have you two been going out?"  
  
"About six weeks JR." John told him, rubbing Lita's belly which was beginning to show, though she still looked absolutely stunning wearing a simple pair of loose cut jeans and a fitted t-shirt, paired with skate shoes, looking perfectly placed beside John in his traditional baggy shorts, a football jersey, trucker hat and steel chain adorning his neck.  
  
"You look pretty comfortable around each other." JR smiled.  
  
"That's the best part about being in love with one of your best friends." Lita's smile was priceless as she showered John with a gentle, knowing smile.  
  
"And what about..." King gestured to Lita's expanding stomach.  
  
"What about it?" John instantly bristled. "Seriously, what about it?"  
  
"I just..."  
  
Lita placed one hand on his arm and gave him a brilliant smile. "It's okay guys, calm down. I'm not upset, we're just playing by ear, and the baby is a part of our relationship, but it's not centered around him or her. Please, excuse us, we should go find the others."  
  
"Yeah." He nodded and smiled at her.  
  
"John," Coach interrupted them, "It's great to see you, and your girlfriend." He fell silent as he recognized her.  
  
"Say hello Coach." King prompted the younger man.  
  
"Damn you look fine." He said quietly. "Matt's not going to know what hit him."  
  
"I didn't come here to see Matt." Lita told him, not looking too impressed.  
  
"Yeah, right. So what did you come here to do?"  
  
Lita shrugged. "Hang out, maybe dance, see some friends."  
  
"Now last time I saw you, you had just announced to the entire RAW roster that you quit."  
  
"So? I wasn't happy working there." She asked him. "Besides, I don't really see how or why my career decisions affect you, or anyone else. It was my decision to make."  
  
"Well sorry I said anything at all." Coach told her, being a smart ass.  
  
John grabbed him by the collar. "Be nice." He snarled at the squirming man. "She's here with me, and I'll kick your ass if you upset her at all."  
  
"Es vale." Lita said softly. "Let's just go and find the others."  
  
John glared at Coach again, then waved his hand in front of his face, clearly saying 'you can't see me.'  
  
***********  
  
"There they are!" Rey exclaimed, hitting Jeff on the arm.  
  
"Hey guys." Lita smiled at them, as they both kissed her on the cheek and wrapped her up in hugs.  
  
"We missed you." Jeff grinned at her. "How's my nephew?"  
  
"Your niece or nephew is just fine." Lita told him, stressing the word niece.  
  
"Been keeping busy?" Rey asked, then was shoved in the back in the crush of people. "Come on, we've got a table and it'll be easier to talk there."  
  
John wrapped his arm protectively around Lita's waist as they followed Rey and Jeff to their table.  
  
"Welcome to our table." Jeff said with a flourish, spinning to face Lita and John abruptly and waving his hands like he was some sort of game show host.  
  
Lita laughed at him, while John just shook his head at the crazy-haired lunatic in front of them.  
  
"How have you been Li?" Dawn asked from where she was sitting.  
  
"I've been really good." Lita smiled and sat down next to her old friend.  
  
"I still can't believe that you were with all of us, and you didn't tell us that you were pregnant!" The brunette chastised her.  
  
"I don't know." Lita shrugged. "I guess I wanted to wait. I was going to tell you though."  
  
"I know." Dawn hugged her. "Are you thinking of coming over to SMACKDOWN now?"  
  
Lita shook her head, then leaned close to Dawn's ear. "I'm waiting for Eric to finish the paper work about me quitting so that I'm free to sign a SMACKDOWN contract."  
  
"So querida, when are you due to have the baby?" Eddie Guerrero hugged her as he appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"Hey." Lita twisted in her seat to hug him back. "I'm not due for another five months."  
  
"You looking fine mamacita!" Everyone laughed at the way Eddie spoke his last words.  
  
"He's right." Trish said as she joined the group, perching on Rey's lap to stay out of the crush. "You look amazing."  
  
"I do not look amazing." Lita shook her head. "I woke up about ten minutes before we left the hotel and I jumped in the shower, then threw on whatever I laid my hands on first. I look like crap. I don't even have any make up on."  
  
"Well for someone who looks like crap and has no make up on, you look amazing." John told her. "Come dance." He pulled Lita up out of her seat.  
  
"Do I have to?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah you have to, because you look beautiful."  
  
**************  
  
"He's right, isn't he." Jeff shook his head. "I can't remember a time when she looked better."  
  
"So when did they get together?" Trish asked him.  
  
"Lita and John?" Rey asked. "About six weeks ago, but you could see it coming."  
  
"I couldn't." Jeff told him.  
  
"It's been there for a while." Rey told him. "Not from her, but from him, yes. He has wanted to be with her for a long time."  
  
"So he was just waiting until Matt was out of the picture?" Eddie asked.  
  
Rey shook his head. "No. He loves her, has for a long time. I think he was waiting until she was ready." He just watched the pair as they settled on the dance floor, John wrapping his arms loosely around Lita's waist.  
  
**********  
  
As they danced the old song ended and a new one begun to play, with John and Lita moving closer to each other, Lita wrapping her arms around his waist, and resting her head on his shoulder, while John rested his head on top of hers, both relaxing into the other.  
  
"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
  
Leading you down into my core  
  
Where I've become so numb  
  
Without a soul  
  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
  
Until you find it there and lead it back home."  
  
Lita sang along softly with the song, and John smiled a little as he listened.  
  
"This is sung by the same girl who you sold those others to, isn't it?"  
  
"Mmmhmm." She mumbled.  
  
"I love you." He told her softly, "No matter what."  
  
"[wake me up] Wake me up inside  
  
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside  
  
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run  
  
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone  
  
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become."  
  
"Te amo tambien." Lita answered him, sighing softly in relaxation as she curled up against him, until they were just swaying, not even bothering to dance.  
  
"Now that I know what I'm without  
  
You can't just leave me  
  
Breathe into me and {make me real}  
  
Bring me  
  
To life."  
  
"I needed you John." She said quietly. "I know that I didn't see this coming, but it's only this whole mess with Matt and work and everything that brought us together." Lita pulled away a little and turned her face up to his. "When I need you I can always trust that you'll be there, and that is something I didn't think I'd be able to trust anyone to do for me again."  
  
"You know I'll never leave you." John answered her. "I care about you too much."  
  
"You're one of the two good things that came out of my relationship with Matt." Lita told him. "You and the baby, and right now I can't believe how much you both mean to me."  
  
"[wake me up] Wake me up inside  
  
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside  
  
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run  
  
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone  
  
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become."  
  
"What do you think they're talking about?" Eddie said quietly as they all watched Lita and John on the dance floor.  
  
"Who knows." Jeff answered, a smile on his face. "It could be anything from him asking her if she wants to sit down, or them discussing baby names."  
  
"They've been discussing baby names?" Trish asked. "Why have I not been included?"  
  
"I would have thought she'd give Matt some input into the baby's name." Dawn shrugged.  
  
"She's come out with heaps of names I know that he'd just hate." Jeff snickered. "I think she's going out of her way to make sure she likes the name, and she doesn't give a stuff about Matt. He stopped caring about her, until she told him that she was pregnant."  
  
"He really can be a bastard when he wants to be." Trish shook her head.  
  
"{Bring me to life}  
  
[I've been living a lie  
  
There's nothing inside]  
  
{Bring me to life}."  
  
"Are you upset about what King said before?" Lita asked softly. "When he started to ask how the baby..."  
  
"Fitted into our relationship." He finished. "I just didn't want them broadcasting everything about us. As much as I admire JR and the King, we both know that I'm not the most public guy when it comes to relationships, especially new ones."  
  
Lita nodded. "I do understand. I just thought that you might be upset because this isn't your baby, your biological child I mean."  
  
"Lita, honey, no, that's not it at all." John told her. "I just want to make sure that this little guy, or girl has everything he or she could ever want. I want to be able to make sure you're both safe and okay."  
  
"Frozen inside without your touch  
  
Without your love, darling  
  
Only you are the life among the dead."  
  
"They look so happy, and so serious at the same time." Rey shook his head. "I wish I could take away all their troubles."  
  
"We all do Rey." Jeff told him. "We just have to do whatever it takes to protect them."  
  
"I don't think you can." Trish said softly. "Unless they want you to protect them, they're on their own, which could be a good thing."  
  
"A good thing how?" Eddie asked.  
  
"Then instead of relying on everyone else, they'll come to rely on each other." Trish smiled.  
  
"[All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see  
  
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me]  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
  
[Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul]  
  
{Don't let me die here}{You Must Accept The Fall}  
  
Bring me to life."  
  
"John..." Lita began, but he placed a finger to her lips . "Shhh, don't worry about it for now, just dance with me." He cradled her gently against his chest, and they danced in silence, each comfortable enough in the other's presence that they didn't need to speak.  
  
"[wake me up] Wake me up inside  
  
[I can't wake up] Wake me up inside  
  
[Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
[Wake me up] Bid my blood to run  
  
[I can't wake up] Before I come undone  
  
[Save me] Save me from the nothing I've become."  
  
As they danced another pair of eyes watched them from across the room, no one noticing, save for the people whom he was sitting with.  
  
"Dude, just let her be." Shannon advised him. "I know that you're mad at her, but remember you started this."  
  
"I started this?" Matt was shocked out of his reverie by the younger man's words. "How did I start this Shan?"  
  
"You started treating her like she didn't matter. Then you dumped her on air. What do you expect?"  
  
"Bring me to life  
  
[I've been living a lie... There's nothing inside]  
  
Bring me to life."  
  
***************  
  
The pair were smiling as they walked off the dance floor.  
  
"What's going on?" Trish asked.  
  
Lita fanned her hand in front of her face. "Come with me?"  
  
Both Trish and Dawn nodded.  
  
"Where are you all going?" Jeff asked as they began to walk off.  
  
"THE BATHROOM!" Lita shouted back over the music, which had gone up in volume.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" Eddie asked, seeing the look on John's face.  
  
"Nothing." He answered.  
  
"Come on dude, out with it." Jeff told him. "I know my sister, so if she said anything weird I'll be able to help decipher it."  
  
"Rey, what does 'te amo tambien' mean?" John asked the little Mexican.  
  
"We've got to get you Spanish lessons." Rey shook his head.  
  
"No." Jeff put his hands up. "I had 'French lessons' for about six months with this absolutely gorgeous girl in the eleventh grade. It was three afternoons a week of solid making out. My dad and Matt both wondered why I still failed French so badly."  
  
"What did you tell them?" John asked with a smile on his face.  
  
"I told them the usual, my teacher just didn't understand me." He smiled. "Those were the good old days."  
  
************  
  
"So what have you and John been up to?" Dawn asked, sitting on the bench in the bathroom.  
  
"Not much." Lita answered, raiding both ladies purses for make up. "Do either of you have a foundation that's in between these?"  
  
"Seriously." Trish said, pausing as she applied some fresh lipstick.  
  
"When he told me that he loved me, not just liked me, loved me, he thought I'd be so mad at him." She stopped to look at both of her friends. "I know that they're all still treating me like I'm made of glass, but I was getting over Matt before they started to realize that I was. He was so... I don't know worried that I was going to tell him where to go that he didn't even look at me while he was speaking."  
  
"So what did you say?" Dawn asked, looking a little surprised.  
  
Lita shrugged. "He's one of my best friends. I told him that he should never be worried about telling me how he feels, especially about something like that."  
  
"What did he say after that?" Trish asked, looking impressed. "I mean I'll bet he was pretty surprised."  
  
She paused remembering. "So you aren't going to tell me to go to hell, or to jump off a cliff or something?"  
  
"That's what he said to you?" Dawn asked. "Sounds like you two are just about right for each other."  
  
"I'm not looking for the right guy Dawn." Lita told her. "I'm happy to just be with someone I trust, who I know loves me."  
  
"Hey guys." Stacy smiled at them as she walked into the bathroom, Jacqui, Stephanie and Molly close behind.  
  
"Hey." Lita smiled at them. "Do any of you have a foundation darker that hers, and lighter than hers?" She gestured to Trish and Dawn in turn.  
  
"You don't need it." Steph told her. "You look amazing."  
  
"She's right." Molly said, "You look so healthy."  
  
"I'm not used to wearing no makeup when I'm out with other people. I feel like I've come out in my pj's or something."  
  
"Which I'm sure John has seen." Trish barely stifled a giggle.  
  
"I don't know many guys who haven't seen me in my pj's." Lita shot back at her.  
  
"Do we not want to know?" Jacqui asked.  
  
"Not like that." She rolled her eyes at the younger woman.  
  
"You can use my foundation." Jacqui handed it over.  
  
"So how are things with John?" Steph asked. "I mean when I was GM he was enough of a handful."  
  
"He's really easy going." Lita told them. "Seriously, I mean aside from wanting to kill Matt every time he makes me cry, or calls, or is in the tri- state area, he's really easy to get along with. Always has been."  
  
"I'm still not sure we're talking about the same guys." Dawn shook her head.  
  
"He is a great guy, hell, John, Jeff and Rey are all great guys, and I love them all to pieces for what they've done for me."  
  
"What have they done for you?" Molly asked.  
  
"They give me their love and support, and they're all behind me one hundred percent. They lay there with me when I stared at the ceiling for a whole day, and made me eat when I didn't even think about food. They brought a picnic to me by the lake so that they didn't disturb me, they even let me watch 'Little Shop of Horrors,' and they didn't tease me when I cried during it. They've all held my hands when I've needed them, and they know that I'll love them all forever for what they've done for me. They make me happy."  
  
"That is so sweet." Steph said wistfully. "I wish I had even one someone who cared enough about me to do all that."  
  
"I'm lucky." Lita told her. "And I know it. I'm lucky because I know that I'm loved by three of the strongest people that I will ever meet, and I love them back as much as they love me."  
  
************  
  
"Dawn," John dropped down into the chair next to her. "Te amo tambien?"  
  
"What?" She looked at him, both shocked and angry.  
  
"It's something Lita said to me, and I don't know what it means. I asked Rey, but he told me to get Spanish lessons."  
  
Dawn's expression softened. "It means 'I love you too.' When did she say that?"  
  
"When we were dancing before."  
  
"Keep her happy." She smiled at him. "Just keep her happy." 


	6. Tourniquet

A/N: Takes off directly from Bring Me To Life.  
  
Feedback please.  
  
Samantha.  
  
***********  
  
Tourniquet.  
  
"Now tonight, for a special treat, we're going to get... a member of the audience to come up here and sing for you. She's very talented, as many of you would already know, having her heard her play in the locker rooms several months ago." Eric began, looking down at Lita. "A song that she wrote, called 'My Immortal' is currently sitting in the top five on the music charts, sung by the group Evanescence."  
  
"No way." Lita told him, making him read her lips to understand what she was saying.  
  
"Come up here, now." Eric growled at her.  
  
She glared at him, pulling a CD out of Jeff's backpack, which she had burnt for him, and walked up to the stage, gesturing for Jeff to come with her.  
  
"If you don't want to perform, he can't make you." Jeff told her.  
  
"Oh I'll perform, but it won't be the performance that he wants." Lita managed a tight smile as she handed him the disc. "Play track six for me."  
  
"That's pretty distant from 'My Immortal.'" Jeff told her.  
  
"Thus the allure of performing it. I'm kind of hoping he dies of shock."  
  
Jeff laughed. "Go get 'em."  
  
"Just play my song." Lita told him as she walked onto the stage and picked up a microphone, turning to face the audience. "What with all my time off lately and everything, I've been doing a lot of song writing, and this is one of my more recent pieces. Keep in mind that I'm just talking while Jeff sets up, but this song is... I guess you'd say one of my favorites, so here goes." She finished speaking as the opening guitar solo hit.  
  
"I tried to kill the pain  
,  
But only brought more.  
  
(So much more)  
  
I lay dying,  
  
And I'm pouring  
  
crimson regret, and betrayal."  
  
She paused to take in the audience's reaction to the song.  
  
Eric Bischoff, as she had predicted was almost having a coronary in his chair, but most people were just staring up at the stage, some looking a little shocked, others looking like they were enjoying her performance.  
  
"I'm dying,  
  
Praying,  
  
Bleeding,  
  
I'm screaming.  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?"  
  
Some of the older superstars, people who knew her well looked a little shocked, and Lita smiled. It was nothing to what they were going to be in a few seconds. John, Jeff and, Rey the only three people in the room who actually knew what the song was about, and why she had written it were all standing up, cheering for her, wide smiles on their faces.  
  
"My God! My Tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation.  
  
My God! My Tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation."  
  
Eric's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as Lita launched into the chorus, quite happy to stand up there on the stage and belt her song out, despite the frightened and worried looks on some people's faces, including the look of horror on Matt's face.  
  
"Do you remember me;  
  
Lost for so long?  
  
Will you be on the other side?  
  
Or will you forget me?  
  
I'm dying,  
  
Praying,  
  
Bleeding,  
  
I'm screaming.  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?"  
  
As she sung the second verse and launched into the chorus, Matt's expression changed to one of pain and regret, but Lita found that she didn't want to look at him. Instead she turned to find 'her guys', John and Rey were up dancing with everyone that had been sitting at their table, and Jeff had picked up a guitar from next to the stage and was playing the lead guitar part, clearly enjoying himself.  
  
"My God! My Tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation.  
  
My God! My Tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation."  
  
As the chorus played for the second time Jeff moved to hand Lita the guitar, which she moved to the edge of the stage to take from him, while he procured another guitar, playing bass for her.  
  
"(Return to me salvation)  
  
(I want to DIE!)"  
  
She fell silent while on the backing CD her voice still sung the background accompaniment, while she adjusted the guitar strap over her shoulder, and settled it in her hands.  
  
"My God! My Tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation.  
  
My God! My Tourniquet,  
  
Return to me salvation."  
  
The guitar sung beneath her agile fingers, which picked out the chords easily, and Jeff grinned at her, having changed guitars as easily as Lita had. She smiled at him, not just a 'nice job' smile, but a 'thanks for being here through everything,' smile, and he beamed at her in return.  
  
"My wounds cry for the grave.  
  
My soul cries for deliverance.  
  
Will I be denied?  
  
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide."  
  
As she finished the last part of the song Lita launched into an impressive guitar solo, with Jeff quite happy to keep up with her on his bass.  
  
"Return to us salvation  
  
Return to us salvation..."  
  
The main line of the song finished, and Lita motioned for Jeff to cut the remainder of the music. He moved back over to her to take her guitar, while most of the audience got to their feet cheering.  
  
With a smile she moved back to the microphone and turned her attention back to the audience.  
  
"Eric, I know you're sitting down there and thinking 'what the hell just went on here?' And I can see by the look on your face that I'm right, so don't bother to deny it. I don't like feeling forced into doing things, including performing, so I'm going to go now. You just had your last attempt at dominating me, don't do it again."  
  
John met her at the front of the stage, picking her up to kiss her. When he put her down Jeff hugged her and ruffled her hair, which she was less than impressed about.  
  
"That was my five second hair style!"  
  
"Hang on." He placated her. "I'll give you a new one." Jeff reached out again and ruffled her hair again, smoothing it out a little.  
  
"You look fine mami." Rey told her, "And you sounded beautiful."  
  
"I can always depend on you guys." She smiled at them, and then fanned her hand in front of her face. "I need a drink, those lights are hot."  
  
John nodded and led her towards the bar, while Jeff and Rey walked back to their table.  
  
"Is anyone else disturbed that she was singing about suicide?" Dawn asked watched Lita and John at the bar, Lita quite animated as she said something to him.  
  
"It's not like that." Rey told her. "We asked the same question when we first heard the song. She says it's more about pain, and stopping it."  
  
"Why the hell didn't you tell me that she was so damn upset!" Matt shouted at his younger brother. "Why the hell didn't you say anything!"  
  
"If she wanted you to know how she was feeling she probably would have called you herself." Jeff answered mildly.  
  
"Don't even start with me..." Matt began again, starting to attract the attention of everyone in the room.  
  
"It's not my fault she doesn't want to talk to you." Jeff stood up, coming close to matching his brother in height.  
  
"How the hell can you even interfere in this?" Matt grabbed Jeff by the collar and began to try and shake him, while Jeff introduced his fist to Matt's jaw.  
  
"Guys, stop it." Dawn was saying. "Please, just stop it!"  
  
"Someone do something!" Trish yelled as the two Hardy's went at it, in a full-blown fistfight.  
  
Several superstars began trying to break the two men up, and keep them separate, though both Matt and Jeff were fighting to get back to beating each other up.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" Both men froze, turning to look at her. "Answer me!" She demanded.  
  
"Nothing." Matt told her.  
  
"Bullshit." Lita snapped at him. "You two don't try and start a brawl over nothing."  
  
"It was just, we were just trying to resolve our differences." He tried again. "Why didn't I know that I'd hurt you so much?"  
  
"You think I wanted to kill myself over you?" She stared at him. "I loved you Matt, and I loved you so much. But I had no desire to kill myself over you. For weeks I felt like I was dying inside, a little more every day, but I never once contemplated killing myself, I always had something to live for." Lita was silent for several moments, just staring at the two men. "I can't believe you thought I wanted to kill myself."  
  
"I was..." Matt began.  
  
"You were worried about me?" The look Lita gave him was pure disdain. "You weren't worried about me until you thought that there was the possibility that I would be gone."  
  
"Come on babe." John told her gently. "I've got your drink, let's just go sit down."  
  
She managed to smile at him as he handed the chocolate milkshake to her, thinking that it would keep her calm.  
  
"I was worried about you, Lita." Matt told her. "I was worried about you, I love you."  
  
She stared at him for a moment, then tipped her drink all over his head. "You didn't love me enough, or we'd still be together. So don't you dare stand there and tell me that you love me."  
  
Matt sputtered and tried to wipe the chocolate and ice cream concoction out of his eyes.  
  
John wrapped his arms around Lita, both restraining her and protecting her, while Rey appeared at her side, speaking softly in Spanish. "Tu poder no hacer esta." *You can't do this.*  
  
"Si, yo poder." She answered him, turning her head. *Yes I can.*  
  
"Lita." He said gently. "Por favor."  
  
"Lo probare." Lita answered finally, not looking too impressed. *I'll try.*  
  
"Go on then."  
  
"I'm not a child." She told him, still looking unhappy. "Fine. Matt, I'm sorry you're such a jerk and caused me to tip a chocolate milkshake on your head. How's that?" She turned to Rey.  
  
"It could be improved on."  
  
Lita raised her eyebrows at him, then looked up at John. "Balaimos?"  
  
He smiled. "At least I know one word in Spanish."  
  
She batted her eyelashes at him, and held out her hand, which he took, leading her out onto the dance floor.  
  
"What just happened?" Matt asked, looking bewildered.  
  
"She wants to dance." Jeff answered.  
  
"I mean what the hell just happened here?"  
  
"We made her mad, and you made her angrier." The younger man said. "You never know when to quit."  
  
"That's enough, both of you." Rey chided her. "Be pleased it wasn't coffee she tipped on you Matt."  
  
********  
  
"Are you okay?" John asked softly as they danced.  
  
"Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"You just tipped a perfectly good chocolate milkshake on your ex- boyfriend's head. You tell me."  
  
"He made me angry. You know he leaves me and everything's completely fine because it has to be, and then he gets worried about me because he thinks I'm singing about suicide, and he's allowed to jump all over me, and he and Jeff think that they can have a fist fight. I don't know what came over them, but it's not on. Things don't work that way." Lita shook her head in frustration, and then rested it against John's chest. "I wish we could just stay out here for ever."  
  
"You and me both babe." John told her. "But let's not worry about that any more tonight."  
  
She nodded and leaned heavily against him.  
  
Once the song finished John led her off the dance floor, carefully supporting her with one arm around her waist.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Jeff asked as John pulled a chair out for Lita, guiding her into it.  
  
"I just feel really tired." Lita answered. "I'm just so tired."  
  
"I think we're going to head back to the hotel." John told the others as Lita rested her head against him. "It's getting kind of late anyway."  
  
"You can't leave yet." Eric Bischoff appeared out of nowhere. "You can't leave yet."  
  
"Are you going to stop me?" John asked him, "And since when have you been my boss?"  
  
"I'm deadly serious, you can't leave yet."  
  
"Me siento debil." Lita said softly, causing both Rey and Dawn to drop to their knees in front of her, both speaking in rapid Spanish.  
  
"?Desde cuando se siente asi?" Dawn asked.  
  
"No." Lita answered, though the question wasn't clear. "John?"  
  
"It's okay babe." He reassured her, "We're out of here right now."  
  
"I'm telling you that you can't leave." Eric insisted.  
  
"What's going on?" Vince McMahon walked over to them, Paul Heyman beside him.  
  
"Paul, Lita enferma, pero Eric bastardo. El decir John no poder llevar su hotel." Dawn told Paul in a rush. *Paul, Lita's sick and Eric's a bastard. He won't let John take her back to the hotel.*  
  
"Dawn, Dawn just calm down and speak slowly, preferably not in Spanish." He soothed her.  
  
"Eric won't let John take Lita back to the hotel because she's not feeling well." She repeated in a rush.  
  
"And he's a bastard." Lita added, causing Dawn to lower her gaze for a moment.  
  
Paul rounded on Eric. "Since when do you tell my superstars what they can and can't do?"  
  
"No one's allowed to leave yet." Eric told him shaking his head.  
  
"Don't worry." Paul reassured Lita. "It's okay. John go ahead and take her back to the hotel."  
  
"You can't do that!" Eric repeated.  
  
"So you expect me to send a pregnant woman who isn't feeling well back to a hotel on her own?" Paul asked as John picked Lita up in his arms. "I don't think so."  
  
Beside Paul, Rey was trying to calm Dawn-Marie down in Spanish, the pair speaking rapid Spanish that only they seemed to understand.  
  
"No, no, no!" Dawn shrilled at him, putting one hand against his chest, while he held her shoulders gently.  
  
"Dawn, Dawn." Nidia walked over to the upset brunette and began to speak to her in Spanish. "Es vale. Lita's enfermedad, no es de gravedad. She's going to be okay. It's normal for her to not feel well at this point. It's okay." *Lita's illness isn't serious.*  
  
"Are you sure?" Dawn asked, her voice small, still wrought with worry.  
  
"I'm sure. Trust me." Nidia promised. "I was a little surprised she even came out tonight. Lita's going to be just fine. Why don't you call her in the morning and talk to her about how preocupada tu esta." Nidia smiled at her.  
  
"She's right Dawn." Rey told her. "Lita's going to be fine. Why don't you ladies go and dance for a while, take your mind off it."  
  
Trish nodded. "Lita wouldn't want us to stand here all worried. She'd wanted us to party." 


End file.
